there's something that has been bothering my mind for quite a while now and it's the fact that I'm so mean and cold towards the people I love. I reject love, perhaps because I don't think I deserve such good thing or because I don't feel worthy enough. maybe I'm just afraid; afraid of losing you or that small inch of light you bring into my life. 

I've been wondering and maybe I'm this way because I'm scared that easy things won't last as much as the hard ones. I don't want you to think that you've got me without even putting some effort into "us". basically I want to see if you think all the work I give you is worth it or if it's not because then I'll know if you're going to leave me when a storm is coming or if you're going to stay with me even if the world goes down and we're the only two left standing.