the amount of pain, guilt and anger that has piled inside me is insane and as hard as I try to keep myself sane, it just ends up driving me crazy.

I don't want to become a dead soul but right now I'm a lost soul and flying through people's hearts without being able to hold them and steal them is far from what anyone would want.

life was not made for me, or perhaps I wasn't made for life.

I'm done running and hiding because it's impossible to escape. I keep dragging the few friends I have down with me and I wish I could be surprised by the fact that they end up leaving but the truth is I can't; and I don't blame them. I wouldn't want me either. 

I'm so mad at myself for letting all this demons control me and for letting this darkness take over me and erase me from this world. not really sure if I ever belonged here anyways. I was just trying to fit in, to be someone, to find myself; but I guess I lost myself along the way. 

I'm nowhere near from being good or in the right track. I'm so damaged, tremendously fucked up. (not that anyone cares)

I just figured that this is just another bad night coming along with another bad dream which will bring more and more doubts and bad thoughts and wishes.

I look around me and see nothing and I start to wonder: pills and potions have never killed nobody, or have it?