alone once again. 

I probably put myself in this position by pushing people away and by giving them reasons to give up on me. 

perhaps I'm not worth anyone's time, I'm in fact a waste of time and any word or emotion you try to throw at me doesn't break these walls around my heart so it never really gets to me.

I'm the kind of person that needs constant reminders that what we have is real otherwise I'll start doubting it. that's probably why I spend my days thinking and overthinking because I'm not sure of anything in life. 

life is so unpredictable and if you fuck with who you're not supposed to you'll get fucked up. 

bottom line is the sound of the ocean always seems to calm me down but I don't live near the beach so how do I manage to keep myself calm? I listen to music because music makes it all better and it might not sound like the ocean or its waves or the wind blowing in your face while the sun burns in your skin but music makes you feel warm and that's what I like about it.